Falling in love with the other man might not have been on your agenda when the affair began. Now that it has happened you're going to have to deal with it. The sooner you deal with it the better for both your sakes. It rarely happens intentionally but when it does happen it can be devastating. Regardless you are going to have to make some hard choices in the near future. What do you do when you fall in love with the man you've been cheating on your husband with?
1) Find out whether it's real love or not. Sometimes it just feels like love. It's kind of like rebound relationships. The passion is so intense and the release from the fulfillment he allows you to have (between the two of them all your needs may be getting met). Do you honestly feel that he can meet all your needs on his own though?
2) Decide whether or not you still love your husband. Chances are that you do still love your husband. Most affairs aren't about love. If you happen to fall in love by prolonging the affair that's one thing but in the beginning they aren't always a plea for more love.
3) Which man will help you meet your goals for the future best. It may seem a bit cold to analyze the situation this way but if you are trying to choose one man over another you need some cold hard logic to help you make the decision.
4) What is it about the "other man" that you've fallen in love with? Is it attraction, infatuation, or something that goes much deeper? If it isn't a deep and abiding kind of love the odds are good that you'll be able to recover quickly and move on if you cut all ties quickly.
5) Talk to the other man and find out if he feels the same way. Be honest with the other man. Tell him that you're torn between the two of them. Ask him where he'd like to see your relationship go in the future. It might be about the forbidden for him and he might want to keep things as they are. In other words, it could ruin the relationship for him if you leave your husband. He could also feel the same way but may fear letting you know how he feels. One huge reason for holding off on telling you is that he doesn't want to pressure you. Before you decide to leave you husband you need to know how the other man feels about that decision.
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