You know the feeling: you are not really hungry but you eat anyway. Instead of feeling guilty or bad about it, get curious! Eating is a solution to a problem. It is not necessarily a good solution, but at some level it works or you wouldn't be doing it. If you pay attention, you can learn more and expand your range of options.
When you find yourself looking for something to eat between meals, this is your cue to start asking questions. Are you hungry? What are you feeling? Get as clear about it as possible. Are you tired? Edgy? Excited? Upset? Thirsty? Uneasy? What is going on? Where in your body do you experience this feeling and what is it like?
Let this period of exploration be a pause. Experiment with different approaches. Does it help to sit quietly for 5-10 minutes and just breathe? Does it help to write about it? Does it help to go for a walk? See what will let you hang with the feeling for a little while. You don't always have to do something right away. A pause gives you a chance to take in all the information before you decide what to do.
A couple things may happen during this pause. When we stay with a feeling (instead of reacting or stuffing it), it often loses its intensity. At first we may be afraid of being swallowed whole - like once we go in we'll be stuck there forever. Yet when we just allow a feeling to be what it is, usually it is not as overwhelming as we thought. Staying with the feeling can give us a sense of peace.
Another thing happens when we acknowledge what we are feeling: new choices arise. When we allow a little time and space, the next step tends to present itself. Things get clear. Eating is one choice, but there are even better choices when we stop and really pay attention.
For example, when I am feeling really rushed, everything seems important. I don't want to let go of any of the pieces. I can eat to help me push through it. Or I can pause. When I sit in my garden or go for a walk, I naturally begin to shift my priorities. With just that little bit of distance, I begin to see that it is not all equally critical or immediate. There are actually more choices than I'd realized. I can let go of what is less important and refocus. If I responded immediately with food, I would still be feeling the stress of everything being equally urgent. By pausing, I am able to find a solution that addressed the underlying problem. Food couldn't do that.
See what you can discover about yourself. Use the sensation of wanting to eat as a way to find out what the real message is. Imagine that the wanting-to-eat sensation is like the phone ringing. You have to pick it up and listen to find out who it is and what they want. Try that with your not-really-hungry sensations. Tune in and listen. When you pay attention and respond to the real issue, the results are much more nourishing.
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